angst.

Anyway, things aren't the same anymore. Aren't you armed to the teeth, forewarned, sharp witted, capable of cruelty. Now you can open up, go out, begin again, forget the past, go forward without worrying, approach people more freely, more confidently, more lovingly. You can let yourself be carried away, much farther, much faster than before. You can look forward to the beauty awaiting you, the generosities of soul you can allow yourself. You go through your little fortified domain happy, with a light heart, a new point of view, you turn the corner and run.

--Hélène Cixous from Angst